Year of Firsts: Ziplining

Many of you have already heard this story, but others of you are not privileged enough to be on my exclusive email chains. If you are among the privileged, you can ignore this one.

One of my fears is a fear of heights. This is one of about four reasons I am the worst climber ever. I am also terrified of things that go fast. This is one of three reasons I do not ride roller coasters. I have a very hefty fear of sudden death. Also prolonged death.

In any case, when Alexa and I planned our trip to Costa Rica this past spring, and she said, "CAN WE GO ZIPLINING??!!!" my initial instinct was to say, "Hell no. What's the matter with you?" I am sure she expected me to answer that way, but couldn't resist asking. But when I thought about it, I realized it was another perfect First for the list, that would push past my fears and test my resolve. So I agreed. 

The day arrived when we were in Monteverde and it was time to leave the hostel and climb into a van filled with strangers including a 10 year old boy who was SO EXCITED ABOUT ZIPLINING OMG SO EXCITED. I was not so excited. I was terrified. It's all well and good to make sweeping declarations about becoming a better person and surmounting your fears but when it comes down to it, a moderate resolve doesn't make the fears suddenly vanish. 

"Why is that girl crying?" the little boy asked his mother.
"Sssshhhhh," his mother said.
"She's just a little scared," said Alexa.
"Why is she scared?" asked the boy.
"Sssssshhhhhh," said his mother.
"Grrrgllllpffft," I said, fighting the hysteria.
"Pull yourself together," said Alexa. "HE'S excited. And he's ten."
"Yup! I am!" said the boy.
"Ssssshhh," said the boy's mother.

We drove forth, and I continued to cry quietly while the boy bounced around in the backseat SO EXCITED OMG SO EXCITED.

We were herded into an area where several very attractive young Costa Rican men invaded all of our personal space and hooked us up into terrifying looking harnesses.  We were pushed out very quickly and practically ran through this new forest and up, up, up, up until we reached the first platform.  I expected some kind of orientation, but instead we were simply told, "Left hand here, right hand here, right hand far back, don't brake until we tell you. Okay, who's first?"

And then they hooked up the first person and pushed him off. 

"OH MY GOD," I said, choking on terror. 

"IS IT MY TURN YET?? IS IT? CAN I GO?" said the 10 year old boy.

"YES IS IT HIS TURN, CAN HE GO?" I said, choking on shame.

Soon, though, it was clearly my turn.

"Go, go, go!" said one of the young men, whose name we think may be Lilo. Upon looking at him, I fell desperately in love with him. He was absolutely beautiful and I could tell he was the one for me.

"Go!" he said again.  I stood frozen, unable to move or respond in any way to this command.  Misunderstanding my fear for a lack of English speaking skills, Lilo said, "Venga venga venga!!" this snapped me out of the trance and I moved forward, and so it was that Lilo believed for awhile that I did not actually understand English.  For this reason all of our interactions hence forth took place in Spanish. 

As he hooked me up, I looked across at the next platform, which at least I could see. Then I looked down.  I was VERY HIGH.  If you have not been ziplining, and you are imagining right now how I high I was, I was FOUR TIMES AS HIGH AS THAT. 

I started to cry again.

"Don't cry!" said my Love. 
"I'm....not SNIFF...crying....I don't....AAAAH....cry....."
"Mmmmhmmm," he said, and pushed me off.
I screamed.

A little bit.

As we progressed, things got higher and longer, until we finally arrived at a platform where, looking across, you could not see the end of the line. It was on this platform that somehow I found myself the last person to go, and I was left alone in cool afternoon air with my TrueLove.  It certainly was a romantic spot.  The others were much too far away to hear, the breeze rustled the millions of leaves, the colors of the forest and the graying sky swirled around us, and the air smelled like dirt and green and rain. I wanted to take a moment to enjoy our alone time together and tried to stare deeply and soulfully into his eyes, but he was busy hooking me into the harness and preparing to launch me into the unknown.  Finally though, he looked up.  Before I could think of something impressively witty to say in Spanish, he spoke.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes. I am very very nervous."

"Me too."
I stared at him.  "What.....why are YOU nervous?"

He looked me right in the eyes and said deadpan, "Today is my first day."

"WHAT?" I shrieked.  "That's a joke. Haha! No, seriously, Is that a joke??"

He still didn't smile. "Adios," he said, and he pushed me forcefully off the platform.

I zoomed along in terror for an hour, maybe eight, until I finally saw the end of the line, and arrived in safety at the next platform.  Lilo landed soon after.

"Don't cry!" he said.

"I'm not crying!" I said, crying.

After this though, I began to get the hang of things, but it continued to look like I was crying because of the wind in my eyes as I zipped along at 800 miles/second high above the tree tops.

"Don't cry!" said everyone.

"WIND!" I shouted in Spanish.

I think that I enjoyed ziplining. I'm not entirely sure.  I know that I would do it again if there was an opportunity, but I also know that I will not be going out LOOKING for opportunities. It is certainly an Experience, and way to view things you would never otherwise see, in a way you would never otherwise feel.

Eventually, though we came to the end of the lines, and discovered there was new terror in store.

"Tarzan jump!" said Lilo.  "Daniela you will be the first to jump!"

"Ha!" I said. "Haha! First! No. Maybe I will not jump at all."

Lilo looked at me with brown eyes and I knew I would jump off that platform, however high it was. 

Despite the lovemadness, I was unable to go first. "Take this one!" I said, and pushed Alexa in front of me. Lilo shrugged, and began hooking Alexa up.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh....." said Alexa, as she peered down at the ground far, far below. But she didn't have time to say much after that because she was immediately pushed forcefully off the edge.  I do not remember her screaming. But she went flying hard and fast. When the other adventure guides down below had slowed her wild back and forth swinging and unhooked her, she called up to me as I stared fretfully down. "THAT WAS MUCH WORSE THAN SKY DIVING, JUST SO YOU KNOW," she shouted up.  Because Alexa has sky dived.

"Come here Daniela," said Lilo with his heart breakingly beautiful Spanish.  "It is now your turn."

"Oh no no no no no no no no I can't do this no no no no."

So he shrugged and pulled the next guy up and pushed him off.

"Daniela now it's your turn!"

"No puedo no puedo no puedo...."

So he took the next one. We repeated this a few more times while he would interject with things like, "This is fun!" "Look how much fun the people are having!" "You can do this!"

Finally, it was the ten year old boy's turn.

"THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I'VE EVER SEEN I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OFF MY TURN MY TURN MY TURN! I AM SO EXCITED."

I realized I could absolutely not let this small child jump in front of me while my TrueLove watched my shame.

"No!" I said "I will go!" and I pushed the ten year old child out of my way. He was disgruntled, but his mother shushed him.

"Okay," I said as Lilo attached my harness to a rope.  "Just don't push---"

And he pushed me hard, right off the edge, without any further words of encouragement.

I screamed like a small girl child as all of the adventure guides laughed. It would seem that Alexa filmed the whole ordeal. So now we can remember the small girl child shrieks forever.

"Don't look so scared!" you can hear one of them yell.

"She always looks like that! That is just her face!" you can hear Alexa respond.

I did not cry. Probably just because I was dehydrated.

That was basically the end of the whole business, we went back to return our equipment, I said a very brief goodbye to my TrueLove who didn't seem to notice, and we got back in the van to head to the hostel.

Another successful First!