What do you do with a B.A. in English?

When I was 4 years old, I decided I wanted to be a veterinarian. My parents were supportive enough, though skeptical, and bought me a little doctor play kit that I used to treat my stuffed dogs, bears, and squirrels (I don't know how many squirrels see veterinarians in the real world, probably not that many).
When I was 8 years old, I realized I could not be a veterinarian for two simple reasons. 1) I am nauseated by the sight of a knee scrape and 2) I can't stand animals.
I went through a brief period where I wasn't sure what to do with my life, at which point my parents pushed three careers: 1) Lawyer, 2) Doctor, 3) Computer Engineer.
Doctor was quickly, though regretfully, given up by my mother when she saw my reaction to seeing a paper cut. Lawyer was also given up when it became clear my attention span/ability to remember anything at all was not going to be sufficient to get me through law school. Computer Engineer should have been given up first, seeing as the simplest addition problem has always made me give way to tears and tantrums, and electronics wither away or explode when I walk into a room. My father still naively (stupidly) hopes.
By 10 I had settled on writer, and this is what stuck through all the years of middle school and high school, despite protests from everyone from my parents to the neighbors to strangers at dinner parties. Everyone told me writing could make a very nice hobby, but I ought to go to school to learn a useful (boring) profession like Business, Engineering, or Medicine. That way, I could get A Job. Have a Career. Live life not In A Cardboard Box.
I explained, quite reasonably and rationally, that there were plenty of jobs out there for graduates with an English degree in the publishing and editing and freelance writing! I didn't need to make a huge salary, all I needed was enough to pay the bills and save a bit each year for retirement. I WANTED a mansion and a jet and a private tennis court (not that I even play tennis) but I didn't NEED those things. My parents did not agree with me. They gave each other Looks. But I did what I wanted, because that is what I do.
I graduated from a top ten university with my B.A. in English and rushed off to get the JOB OF MY DREAMS only to discover that very few people in this world need anyone with a B.A. in English, and the people that did have use for one already had at least ten.
You would not believe the number of cover letters I have saved on three different hard drives, nor the different versions of my resume.
Most of the time I don't believe it.
Suddenly, in May of 2007, I did not only NOT have a job, I had loan bills, car insurance bills, health insurance bills (Oh, wait, no I didn't, BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE ANY HEALTH INSURANCE AT ALL), credit card bills (interview clothing never worn, professional looking shoes never worn, coffees at coffee shops with wireless internet where I wrote seven million cover letters daily, a new laptop when the old one crashed losing every cover letter I had written thus far)...the future did not look bright.
Four days out of college, I was excitedly applying for jobs and dreaming of the amazing new path my life and career was about to take. I had friends, family, a degree...golden prospects.
Four months out of college I was still in bed at 3 in the afternoon in my parents' house, terrified of so much as taking a shower because God forbid I slip on the soap and break a limb, because without health insurance I was just going to have to let myself drown in there.
My friends with degrees in finance and marketing and engineering and graphic design were already installing themselves in their new apartments, beginning to pay the loans for their new cars, working hard to get a promotion. My other friends moved on to law school and medical school.
"Why didn't you TELL ME?" I cried to my parents (still in bed, shouting to be heard downstairs). No response, because my parents were busy shaking their heads, lamenting my naivete (stupidity).
It was around this time that I had a genius idea. I did what I do with all of my genius ideas. I called my dear friend, who has a B.A. in French, (Yes, yes, let's all shake our heads at her and move on).

"LET'S MOVE TO FRANCE!"
"..."
"NO SERIOUSLY, LET'S MOVE TO FRANCE!"
"Can we also go to Iceland?"
"What?"
"We should go to Iceland. They have a great website."
"OKAY!"

But that is a story for a different bog post.