Vanceburg, Kentucky

This isn't about bad decisions. This is just about decisions, and how little ones lead to more little ones lead to more little ones until you end up in Kentucky with a towel over your eye leaning over a pharmaceutical counter.

I was in Vanceburg, Kentucky this weekend visiting my friend Elisabeth, when I developed an eye infection and had to go to the pharmacy to see if there was anything around that might help me. I had a nice chat with the boy working there, and I lamented, "I'm a wreck, and here I am on vacation." He looked at me and said, "Vacation? In Vanceburg, Kentucky? What on eart would make you take a vacation here?" Good question. Vanceburg is off in the woods, over hill and dale, comprised of four streets, maybe, with one pharmacy, one restaurant, one historical house, and no laundromats. No one in their right mind would go to Vanceburgh, Kentucky on a vacation. So why on earth WAS I there?

I thought about it. First I went back to the year I spent in France. Then I realized, no, it went further than that. So I went farther back to choosing Wash U as my univeristy. But no, it went farther than that. I kept going back until I finally found a starting point, at 3.5 years old.

I'm going to go through the list.

When I was 3.5 years old, I could already spell most useful words, so when my mother and grandmother wanted to say things they did not want me to understand like "ice cream" and "bedtime" they spoke in French. I was terribly indignant because I felt this was unjust and rude, after I worked so hard on my spelling so that no one could keep secrets from me. So at an early age I decided to learn French.

Because I was so adamant about learning French to get rid of all clandestine activity in my family (not that it actually helped, as it turns out, but at the time it seemed like the solution), I became very excitable over and involved in the subject, and continued learning it until I could claim greater fluency than my mother.

Tangential to this, I decided at age 10 to enter a story contest in McCalls Magazine, which I won, which gave me $1000 to do with what I pleased. I decided that I would save it for 7 years to do an exchange program in France when I finished high school.

When I finished high school I decided to go to Washington University where I decided to continue studying French.

Because I decided to go to Washington University, I was given the opportunity to go back to France for a semester abroad either in Paris or in Toulouse.

Because I had loved France on my exchange program, I decided to go back.

Because I do not like Paris, I decided to go to Toulouse.

Because I decided to goto Toulouse, I learned that it is the most wonderful city on the planet.

Because I decided to major in English Literature instead of anything useful, I graduated college with no job and no prospects.

Because I had continued studying French in college I took a class taught by a professor who told us all about a program that pays Americans to teach English in France.

Because I adored France and specifically Toulouse during my semester abroad and also I had no job and no prospects I decided to apply for the program that pays Americans to teach English in France.

Because I chose to go back to Toulouse, I was placed in a town in the Academie de Toulouse called Moissac where I was roommates with a Spanish language assistant from Madrid.

Because we got along so well, I decided to visit her in Madrid that summer.

Because I went to visit her in Madrid, I met her friend Elisabeth.

Because I got along well with Elisabeth, we exchanged email addresses.

Because we exchanged email addresses, we wrote to each other for a year before she decided to come work as a Spanish teacher in the United States.

Because she came to the U.S. and the government placed her in Vanceburg, Kentucky, which is only 5.5 hours from me, I decided to visit her.

And because my eye hurt me while I was there, I decided to visit the pharmacy where I was asked this question and forced to think about all the decisions that led me to that moment.

And those were the decisions that only led to that one, little moment. Not even a big moment. And there were tons more tiny details in there that all contributed. Like I only knew about WAsh U because my mother had gone. I only decided to learn French because my mother and grandmother chose to annoy me. I liked Toulouse. I could have hated it, and none of this would have happened. And what if Elisabeth had not happened to be around in the city the three days I was in Madrid? Or I had decided not to go to Madrid at all? Or my Spanish roommate and I hadn't gotten along or we had been placed in different towns or I had been put in the city like I originally wanted...

I would never have gone to Vanceburg, Kentucky and I probably would have seen a doctor about my eye.

Which hurts.

So maybe this was about bad decisions after all.