Grandmothers in Boots

I don't know about your grandmother, but mine is a TERRIBLE DECISION MAKER.
I am pretty sure I get it entirely from her.

For instance, yesterday evening Grandmother shows up at the front door covered in blood.
Her clothes have dried blood stains all over, she's bleeding from the face, and she explains that she tripped and fell down an escalator in the Seattle airport. The concerned onlookers called 911 and the paramedics came and bandaged her bleeding knees etc., and tried to get her to a hospital. She refused to go and insisted they let her on her plane. STILL BLEEDING FROM THE FACE.

They made her sign a waiver.

She made it all the way back to the house like this, luckily with no broken bones or internal bleeding. We're standing there, discussing her CONTINUED BLEEDING when she sees the new high heeled boots I've just bought myself.

My grandmother, STILL COVERED IN BLOOD FROM TRIPPING, tells me dead serious, "I am going shopping for high heeled boots just like those! And I will wear them with black tights! Because that is the fashion!"  When I stared at her with incredulity, she added, "But some women also wear those tight jeans...should I get tight jeans? Can't I just wear black tights? Do I need both? ....what size are YOUR shoes? Will I fit?"

I am hiding all of my shoes from my grandmother. She thinks she's getting her own this weekend. I may hide the keys to her car.